There are* in fact stupid questions

There are in fact stupid questions. In fact, there are several. Further fact: the majority of things a medical student might say at any given moment will likely fall into the classification of stupid question, even if in other contexts they are reasonable questions. For example "where is the bathroom?" and "How do i stop the patient from biting me?"

Statements can also be stupid questions ("But i do not know how to do a cardiac massage.") as can inquisitive looks and breathing too loudly near the surgeon.

Stupid questions are punishable by smirking, derision, public lashings, private lashings through vivid evaluation remarks ("Please express to your parents my great sympathy for their having birthed a child too stupid to know how to dose diuretics properly" "Your usefulness to the team ranks below latex gloves status post rectal exam but above small puddles of body fluids to the left of the nursing station") and being physically assaulted in the operating theater (using proper sterile precaution) with either very expensive surgical instruments or fecaliths. Please note that any damage incurred to surgical equipment will be added to the student's tuition. Also any patient specimen used as a projectile didactic tool will need to be retrieved by the student and expediently returned to the pathology lab.

In conclusion please arrive to clinic or your respective ward teams knowing everything and kindly avoid making eye contact.